


(K)night (t)error?

by LelioBlue



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Illustrations, M/M, Mention of abuse, Meteorstuck, One Illustration per Chapter, Pale-Red Vacillation, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleeping Together, davekat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23264302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LelioBlue/pseuds/LelioBlue
Summary: At night, on the meteor, most of its inhabitants are asleep.Except for Karkat and Dave who have to face their mutual anxieties.Tw : chapter 1 → nothingchapter 2 → PTSD, angst, violence on child, sleep paralysis, crisis.chapter 3 → PTSD, angst, violence on child, internalized homophobia  (but also cuddle uwu)
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	1. A shout in the night

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> This is my first fanfiction in this fandom uwu  
> I'm french so its my boyfriend who translated this story!! And the illustrations are also from him ( his twitter = https://twitter.com/MS__804)  
> I hope you like it

1-

At night, the meteor was empty.

As usual, because it's not as if this fucking rock is fully crowded anyway.

But it's more that at night, the common room is empty.

And that's rare.

No Rose running around her stupid laboratory bench, and Kanaya, especially around Kanaya.

So much so that it becomes...

Awkward? Fucking awkward.

Their quadrant was pretty clear.

They didn't need to make a big fucking deal out of it.

But they were turning around each other, as much as Rose was turning around her bench and Kanaya...

Karkat wasn't really sure about the end of this fucking metaphor. The other would have probably done something accurate with it.

But he wasn't the other.

Fucking Strider.

Who wasn't here either.

With his stupidly stoïc attitude and his fucking cape that was constantly attracted to your feet, arms, any part of your fucking body. Usually ending with Karkat smiling and him smiling.

Idiotically. The troll would have punched his coolkid smile so far in his head that he would have been printed in the wall behind him.

That fucking smile.

That fucking human.

Who couldn't smile.

He was like "Look, I'm so cool". But his face. Looked like a fucking iceberg. The same fucking iceberg than the one in this earth movie. Of a... quite discutable quality.

Karkat started to fuss under his sheet.

It was his loneliness.

His motherfucking loneliness.

That he deserved.

Just a few hours where he could just stop.

Shouting on Rose about her soporific human drinks she always alchemized.

Shouting on Kanaya about her obvious red crush on Rose.

Shouting on Terezi. Not often in fact. She wasn't often... here? Karkat kept this information for later in a corner of his mind. He needed to know where the fuck went Terezi.

Shouting on Strider about... fucking everything. Karkat shouted on him more than anyone. Even these past months. And whoever tried to say the K-word would have to deal with his fist in their face.

But the K-word was.

Pretty accurate with how he felt.

Karkat wanted to shout in the void.

Just a movie.

He wanted to just focus on the movie.

Not on how much he wanted to jump on this douchebag to ruin his face, his shades, his fucking shades with his fists.

And his lips.

Maybe.

Karkat pulled the sheet over his head.

If it was that simple.

Just black.

But sometimes he wanted to

Slap himself.

It was obvious that it's what he deserved. Loud slaps in his own face.

And not his hand running slowly in Strider's hairs. In a way that was so pale. Like when he sees him. At night. Sometimes. Crying like the dumbass he is under the table in the catering block. Under a fucking table.

Was this a human ceremonial?

Fucking fucked up.

But he deserved it

During these moments.

Did he?

A hand in his hair, or whatever humans needs when they starts to cry. But Strider would have probably punched him.

It was it.

Black.

Pale.

Back to the movie.

A fantastic movie. A classic case of quadrant vascillation, a complex plot, deep characterization and a perfect soundtrack. Rare in troll movies that tends to be... so bad it's good?

It was what Strider said about them.

Your movies are so bad they're good.

Fuck you.

They're fucking masterpieces.

Misunderstood,

But masterpieces nonetheless.

And a masterpiece was currently asking his full attention.

The splendid jadeblood was asking herself about her pale relationship that was a little red with a, oh what a shame, lowblood.

No.

Karkat took his head and started to bang it on his knees. Not enough to hurt himself.

It was fucking ironic.

Ironic.

Strider.

Was he really doing that ?

Now?

He already confessed himself about Dave being his pale, his black. Should he really talk about that?

He was probably just too tired to make a memo to shout at his past selves. Or maybe he really wanted to have this conversation now, between Present Karkat and Present Karkat.

So.

Red.

He didn't want Strider in his red.

Never.

In his fucking life.

In his black, hell yes.

In his pale, it made him grind his fangs to admit it but yeah, his pale.

But in his red.

Hell fucking no.

Never.

Except when he was getting to sleep.

And he wakes in his dream next to a warm body, so warm and in arms that are so present arount him and a mouth that comes to his neck in a so not pale way.

FUCK.

A shout comes out from his lips.

He's probably going to wake up the whole meteor.

Rose was probably going to run here, then Kanaya.

They're sleeping together.

Karkat knows it.

He sees them at breakfast coming with a few minutes gap, as if nothing happened. Oh hey hello Kanaya, some coffee? Oh yeah of course Rose it's OBVIOUSLY the first time I see you today.

Shit.

Then Terezi would come.

Or not.

Fuck, where is she anyway?

And then.

Strider.

The shout was getting louder.

He didn't want to see his fucking face.

Or the face of anyone.

He just wanted to keep watching his movie and forget that his feelings were hopscotching in the quadrants. Just forget.

"Yo. Sup?"


	2. A shot at the knight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! This chapter contains a lot of trigger warning: violence on children, PTSD, sleep paralysis and crisis. Nothing graphic, just Dave's thoughts in the middle of a crisis.

2.

Earlier.

"Relax Strider.

You know what it is.

Just chill.

And let go."

He was lying down in his bed.

Surely in a fetal position, but he couldn't get out of his head that it was on his back. In those moments, he was always on the back. Vulnerably laid on his back, his arms and legs laying without any strength from either side of his body.

Dave would have gave anything in the universe to move, a little, just a little, roll on the side.

"You're on the side.

Relax.

You're on your side. Meteor. Hang on. Meteor. Room. Respiteblock, whatever. Room. Meteor."

A weigh fell on his torso.

"Fake.

Relax.

Nothing on your chest.

Nothing."

Legs.

It was legs, adult legs, legs too strong for him to be able to move them, legs that didn't belong here, legs squeezing his chest, legs.

"There's no legs.

No legs.

Nothing.

Hang on.

Room. Meteor. Room."

The weigh spread itself on his torso. Way too heavy, so heavy, it'll crush his bones, his lungs, his heart not capable of pumping, like a fucking birthday cake smashed on the.

"Relax.

Room. Meteor."

Bro.

He couldn't shout, never, his mouth, his tongue, his throat, nothing moved, never.

Like his body, nothing moved. He wanted to shout. So loud. Shout until everyone comes.

Did he want that?

That the others come, breaking in his room and find him shouting in fetal position as if he was being murdered when the danger.

"In your head.

It's just in your head.

Relax"

Sometimes it works, his whole body gives up and it's done, Bro, the flashs, the pain, the ghost sensations, everything, he just wakes up and today, tonight.

Bro leans in.

His eyes was closed but everything was so clear, the outlines of his face, the light, the one from the burning sun of Texas that burns your eyes even inside, even after 4pm, even, the reflection in his shades, his reflection, from before, an eight or nine years old Dave, when he had those hair so short he looked like a chick, before his first bleaching, before John's glasses, before, the voice, just in the crease of his ear, the words weren't clear, never, the ideas were. Weaknesses, fear, shame, future punishment.

"Go away, go away, go away, go away, go away, go away, go away, go away, go away, go away, go"

The voice, the weigh, the smell, the legs, the blinding light, the reflection, they were gone, everything was gone, it was only him, in a fetal position, in the middle of a meteor asleep, itself in the middle of, who fucking knows where.

His face was soaking wet with snot, tears, spit, a disgust twists his stomach, the voice comes back strong, just behind his ear, or just inside, the voice.

Kitchen.

He just needed, irrationally, to go to the kitchen, get out, run away, the kitchen, the table, the kitchen table, who was for him another table, one that seemed to him like a mountain when he was a child, a reassuring mountain with a cave under where nothing could happen. He just wanted.

Kitchen.

The kitchen where everyone could see him cry, roll in a ball on his back, without his shades to recover if someone sees him, if someone gets up, someone, Karkat, if Karkat comes, as he already did, twice. Dave saw him. In the outline of the door, speechless, chocked, not angry at all, not even one of his fit that meant something else. Karkat never came over, never, he got bakc, got away to the common room, never talked about it, not even a shade, an insult, just looks that were furiously worried when he thought Dave couldn't see him.

Karkat.

He didn't want Rose, his ectosister would have put words on all of this, his night distress, Ghost Bro on his chest, on his flash memories, on everything. She would have put words because she knew those type of things, she would have made him lay somewhere, taken a not, she would have. Done way too good, too academic, Dave didn't want to know academically, oh ok cool so that's what i have, what good does it bring him, he just wanted reassurance. Kanaya, Kanaya could have done it, she's doing it for Rose, Dave knows it, when Rose cried her mother, her life, maybe something else, Dave saw her, throw her into a pile like trolls did and. No. Kanaya did it for Rose, but she and him never talked really and Terezi was just... gone, and he couldn't see her throwing anyone in a pile anyway so, just.

Karkat?

Sleepless and annoying, maybe the last person to throw another in a pile and yet, Gamzee, Karkat did it for Gamzee, maybe not the pile but the rest, their fucking pale thing that wasn't friendship but wasn't romance either and gave him headaches to think about. He maybe just needed a little pale, just a little bit of pale, from Karkat.

Dave saw him. Shout on Rose so she gives up on her homemade booze, shout on Kanaya so she stop tourmenting herself over Rose, over the future, over their stupid Mother Grub that should have made their species last, shout on the Mayor because his town is fucking too cool, shout on him, to be honest, never like the other, his shoutings never meant, hey by the way, i care about you.

Maybe Karkat hated him, maybe because he stole away his girlfriend, matesprit or whatever, before she got away god knows where, maybe because he was just an annoying stoic douchebag. Maybe.

A shout breaks the silence of the meteor and gets him on the ground, hand over his head, ready to take a hit, multiple hits, to feel the table get thrown over his head and. It wasn't it, it wasn't anger, it wasn't a call for punishment, he doesn't know what, but Karkat, it was definitely Karkat and.

He got up.

Just to compose a neutral face, oh yeah i don't got my shades haha didn't notice, fuck please don't notice it, don't talk about it, don't talk about anything, about my red face, my pj soaking in tears and snot, about why i was fucking crying under the table.

Just.

Chill.

"Yo. Sup"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the happiest chapter T_T But, I don't know, it seems really logical to me that Dave has this disorder, after all his childhood with Bro.  
> Okay, I promise, the last chapter will be much sweeter uwu


	3. A soft end of night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! .... of a fanfic who should have made only one at the beginning xD I just wanted to write about Dave and Karkat cuddling in front of a film and ooops.  
> This chapter is much sweeter the others but be careful though! We keep as trigger warning the PTSD, violence on children and homophobia.

3-

"Yo. Sup"

It was good.

The sentence.

Cool words on a cool tone said by a pretty cool guy.

Everything was cool.

Dave's hands were shaking, tried to get his shades up his nose.

He didn't have them.

And Karkat.

The troll was just under his sheet, his face on the screen, closed, his sheet completely covering him.

"Go away Strider"

He didn't want to see him for fuck sake.

He would have rather had his fucking ex-moirail get away from the vents than to see him. It was the worse person that could have come here right now.

"Don't shout this loud if you want to be alone dude."

Not bro.

Too soon to say this word, the voice in his hear making itself a little louder, go away for fuck sake, and the shadows dancing on the walls seemed like puppets, dolls, and, fuck, dude, just dude, friendly, cool, yeah just dude, bro who even used the word bro, you dumbass, no, dude.

"Shut up Strider."

Karkat turned over and looked at the other with so much rage, his eyes so red, from tears and also from this weird phenomenon that made his eyes turns from their yellow color to their blood color. He was crying, in front of Dave, the worst fucking thing that could happen and.

Fuck.

"Strider your"

Don't say it, please dont, Karkat, don't say that word, Dave begged in his head, to not say it, to not notice it, to not.

"Forget it. Blanket?"

Karkat felt it.

At Strider's face distorded from fear, that it was better not to talk about it. Forget that his face was naked, fuck, he would have been less surprised to see him in his underwears than without his shades.

And just.

Open the blanket?

He waited for something, anything, hearing again about this fucking gayness that was obviously a problem for Dave. Don't look at me like that dude, it's fucking gay, seriously get back, fuck it's just gay, what no what I won't go into the ablution block with you its.

Dave fell against Karkat, face to face, in what was without a doubt the worst position, why not against his back away from his face, why not back against his chest, worse, fucking weakness state, he wasn't a school girl, but face to face, why face to face, why would he put himself like that, his legs under his and just.

"Strider?"

Karkat blinked.

It was.

Unexpected.

A very pale position. Very comforting. A position to snuggle, to kiss on the cheek and forehead, to stroke his horn, oh my god this part is going to be difficult. Why God did Strider put himself in a position this pale?

"Karkat?"

He had no idea.

And it showed.

His fucking face was a big, oh shit, i fucked up, the biggest of shit in the universe, but.

He didn't move.

Good.

Fucking. Good.

A head fell on his shoulder.

"You want to talk about it?"

Strike first Dave, don't leave him the choice, let him talk, he will forget your red eyes, your lack of shades, everything else, open the door and just wait, wait and pray for him to not ask anything, especially not, what the fuck are you doing here, let me just, please, fuck he said please, here, on your shoulder as if it was normal and fuck please talk so i don't have to.

"No. You wanna?"

What could he fucking say?

You know Dave i don't know if i want to open my legs, my heart or your fucking throat but other than that don't fucking worry.

Karkat let out a nervous laugh. Fuck. He wanted to hear himself say it. Just to see Strider's face when it get out of his lips.

"Not really."

Fantastic, this stupid troll who usually shouted over everything that moved in monologues longer than their time on this rock didn't want to talk and just sent him back the question in the most unfair way, oh yeah Karkat, let's talk about it, you know you had your crab dad that was a lil bit angry when you were a kid, a grub, i don't know, well i got a bro that pushed me against a wall, one day i asked him to push me on the swing and he slaped my face so hard i thought it was going to do a 360, oh its nothing uh, but every night he gets on me and i can't help but say that it's, the only thing he never did he will, that i'll get it, like eveyr dude he brang over, because being a fag is bad, but only if you're under him, if you offer your ass or what, if you take the role of the man it's okay, and oh yeah fuck you see what we're doing here, i would have been beaten the shit out of me if he found me like that, funny huh, fuck you know what, when i had 6 i kissed a classmate because he gave me his snack and he was cute, like you fuck we won't talk about that now, bro made me eat, fuck let's not talk about that, not this kind of detail, just because that's what happens to f-

Karkat's hand touched his hairs, got in it and scratched lightly his head.

Was he ?

Fuck yeah

He was scratching his imaginary horns hoping that it would make him snap out of this chaotic and nervous laugh that shook him since he talked.

Stupid.

Fucking ridiculously stupid.

Strider was going to punch him.

Or.

Dave melted against the troll's hand, it was just, nice, soft, it got all his jostling thoughts away, just scratch, scratch, scratch on the right, scratch, scratch, scratch on the left and right, a fucking rhythm, Karkat was papping him like in a rhythm game, he was sure that with a chronometer he could have seen that each moment lasted the exact same time.

"You don't wanna talk about it. I don't wanna talk about it. Can we just... stay here? Like you shut up, i shut up, i touch your horns or whatever and we just don't talk?"

Karkat nods.

Just stop shouting and focus on Strider's hairs.

His body against his.

Fucking hell.

Two hands on his horns.

His cheek turned red.

It was.

Fucking pale.

He didn't know what it meant for humans, what part of the body it could be for them but it was.

Intimate.

His body started to vibrate, the kind of vibration trolls did to soothe, soothe their moirail, forget their nightmare, those kind of stuff.

"You're like a giant cicada. Sorry. I'll shut up."

It was nice, like a massage chair but alive, not very flattering, so like a space-cat-cicada maybe, he just needed to, rock himself, just a little, forget Bro and the words he threw at him when he did it, think about Jade and her flappy hands, oh you do it too, she was so happy when she learn about it, he didn't do Jade's other stuff, he wasn't really like her, but the rocking, maybe one day, after the meteor, after everything, maybe one day he'll get on the swing with Jade and it'll be cool, Jade was the kind to like swings and let go.

He got asleep first, his body totally relax on Karkat's torso who kept on with its weird noises, its vibrations that were so alien, and then.

The troll gave up too, his eyes closed. Fuck yes finally, after two days of fatigue, it was finally it. And it had to be with Dave fucking Strider. Damn, oh and fuck it, he let his body roll on the carpet taking the human with him.

They'll talk about it tomorrow.

Or they won't.

Fuck.

Karkat was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.  
> It was violent but ... at least it ends well?  
> Opinions are welcome uwu

**Author's Note:**

> At first I just wanted to write a cute little chapter but... I just don't know how to write little things xD


End file.
